The Rinku Sachdeva I knew (Updated - Mumbai Mirror Responds)

Rinku Sachdeva

Kaveetaa Kaul

Update 6th April 2008: Rinkus father Mr. Harish Sachdeva puts forward his feelings and viewpoints. A must read.

Update 3rd April 2008 : If getting to the unadulterated truth is your concern then please read comment 78 where Ankush, Rinkus family member has spoken out in as veracious and candid a manner as possible.

Update 30th March 2008: Post the publishing of this write up on ‘Sachiniti’, Bapu Deedwania a senior correspondent of Mumbai Mirror got in touch with me ( see comments 13-16) . I was only too keen to set the ball rolling for her to meet the Sachdevas .. their trauma needed to be put forth as well. Todays Mumbai Mirror presents their version of the situation, exactly as Bapu had promised me, without any effort to sensationalise..purely verbatim.Responsible journalism can be such a boon. Thank you Bapu. See bottom of post for details.

Update 28th March 2008 : As predicted here,investigating police officials have found no evidence of any ‘alleged affair’ Rinku Sachdev was ‘reportedly’ accused of . For those of us who knew her, it is not important, since we weren’t assailed with doubts in any case. However, defiling of her good name, issues about circumventing facts, would ultimately tell on her near and dear ones, family and friends which would be grossly unfair. Hence this attempt to showcase the truth.See bottom of post for details.

_____________________________________________________________

How does one grieve over the shocking death of Rinku Sachdeva a 28 year old who you knew as a teenager, whose parents were a couple you looked forward to meeting if only to hear their laughter and imbibe their joie de vivre? How does one replace that happy family with an image of what the TV channels air? Just how does one console the parents? Are there words which can express that ‘I understand your pain I am with you’? And more importantly would such sentiments matter any more? Would they ever be able to recover not just from the loss but more from the sordid insinuations made in the media some blatant some implied but equally defaming?

For the world this is another bit of news..death of a wife Rinku Sachdev at the hands of her techie husband Amit Budhiraja in Bangalore,but for some like us, its a numbing tragedy. Rinku, as I remember her was a spirited girl, extremely lively, forthright and a woman of today, in complete control of herself and her actions. She loved to hold center stage and was the vortex around who the swirl of a party moved. We had been out of touch with the Sachdevas since quite a few years therefore one failed to immediately recognise the close up of the ’smiling girl’ with happiness writ large, carefree and smiling with the Rinku of years ago. But calls came in and the shock that transpired is not easily depictable.

Our first thought was for the parents. Her father Harish Sachdeva is such an affable gentleman, who needed no excuse to burst out in a loud guffaw, with his petite sweet wife joining in as if on cue. They exuded an energy which was contagious and their two daughters were the focus and joy of their life. Since we were a group of friends that went out regularly on picnics, dinners, etc. seem them at close range makes the tragedy a million fold painful.

I find myself unable to comment on the circumstances that led to this event. How can one say and vouch for anything now that Rinku is no longer there to fill in details of her version? Why cannot we just leave the grieving family alone instead of casting aspersions and igniting gossip fuel? Just how uncaring are we? How insensitive? I maybe writing subjectively on this post as compared with others on Sachiniti..but how would anyone react over the gruesome death of a girl you knew as barely out of her teens?

I cannot imagine the anguish her sister Saloni and parents must be going through each time the media splashes further news of her death and the circumstances leading to it. I believe it was Saturday evening between 6-7. I immediately recalled we were returning from Shirdi, since we do not play holi..if only one knew of her predicament..if only..

If only counseling was made an option by the husband. If only love was the ruling factor. If only giving and not taking was a mantra we adopted unanimously. If only communication was open and free, doubts discussed and sorted. if only violence was NEVER an option. If only marriage was considered a boon, a gift a challenge.. If only wisdom pervaded the home of every couple.. If only God was considered a friend who walked beside you ..maybe.. she would have been alive.

Two young lives snuffed out in their prime..two families left shell shocked and millions of dreams shattered! Who do you blame? Who should you /can you blame? None really. Except for this being a lesson for youngsters to adopt patience, calmness and strength even at the most trying of times, this episode is only a mirror of the fact that sometimes seemingly intelligent, educated, cultured minds are smoldering within their own fires.

My fervent prayers to the Almighty to grant Sachdevas with fortitude and strength to bear the loss. To give them courage to go on with life with memories of Rinku and her countenance unblemished. To remember with joy the little child they brought up with so much love .Somehow one piously hopes all negativity gets obliterated from this incident.

Death is a thief who leaves no footprints..but life can make imprints of memories and cherish those close.

May her death not go in vain. May it principally alter the viewpoints that have made marriage to be a cordon of freedom . May this open up vistas that makes it imperative for every married couple to undertake their vows seriously. May Love be the only emotion that surpasses any other… at all junctures.

I love you Rinku…you will not be blamed baby.. Peace be with you! May the Almighty hold your hand and take you onward in your journey to a better world, smiling, laughing, joyously, as you always did.

OM

Update 28th March: Despite the grief one is bound to feel vindicated and relieved at the news that investigating police officials deny the possibility of Rinku being involved in an affair. Why fore the sensationalising by the media sans proof? It might have been prudent to have held on to sensitive news of the kind before ‘going to town’ with it ( a channel actually aired a video reconstruction of what may have happened that night, with the computer recording et al..hypothetically but enough to capture eyeballs..their trps may have touched the roof that night…congrats!!) and before investigations were complete.

Nevertheless..Sadness multiplies contemplating the death of wasted youth.

Update 30th March 2008: Sachdevas speak up.

To all who responded with undue alacrity in denouncing Rinku, only on hearsay, I think there is a lesson here.. not to be forgotten. Please do not be quick to censure/deplore/reprobate until substantial information has not been sifted through. Oftentimes there is more than meets the eye. When lies is holding sway, with ones power of discernment, patiently wait for truth to emerge. It can also save you heartbreak from guilt of having randomly torn asunder reputations and…. lives ( in this case that of the family)

Rumors/gossip may travel faster but will not stay around as long as truth will.

” I kissed thee ere I killed thee. No way but this, killing myself, to die upon a kiss”? Shakespeare Othello.Sorrowful..life imitating Art.

Kaveetaa Kaul