The Rinku Sachdeva I knew (Updated - Mumbai Mirror Responds)

Rinku Sachdeva

Kaveetaa Kaul

Update 6th April 2008: Rinkus father Mr. Harish Sachdeva puts forward his feelings and viewpoints. A must read.

Update 3rd April 2008 : If getting to the unadulterated truth is your concern then please read comment 78 where Ankush, Rinkus family member has spoken out in as veracious and candid a manner as possible.

Update 30th March 2008: Post the publishing of this write up on ‘Sachiniti’, Bapu Deedwania a senior correspondent of Mumbai Mirror got in touch with me ( see comments 13-16) . I was only too keen to set the ball rolling for her to meet the Sachdevas .. their trauma needed to be put forth as well. Todays Mumbai Mirror presents their version of the situation, exactly as Bapu had promised me, without any effort to sensationalise..purely verbatim.Responsible journalism can be such a boon. Thank you Bapu. See bottom of post for details.

Update 28th March 2008 : As predicted here,investigating police officials have found no evidence of any ‘alleged affair’ Rinku Sachdev was ‘reportedly’ accused of . For those of us who knew her, it is not important, since we weren’t assailed with doubts in any case. However, defiling of her good name, issues about circumventing facts, would ultimately tell on her near and dear ones, family and friends which would be grossly unfair. Hence this attempt to showcase the truth.See bottom of post for details.

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How does one grieve over the shocking death of Rinku Sachdeva a 28 year old who you knew as a teenager, whose parents were a couple you looked forward to meeting if only to hear their laughter and imbibe their joie de vivre? How does one replace that happy family with an image of what the TV channels air? Just how does one console the parents? Are there words which can express that ‘I understand your pain I am with you’? And more importantly would such sentiments matter any more? Would they ever be able to recover not just from the loss but more from the sordid insinuations made in the media some blatant some implied but equally defaming?

Men Not Needed To Make Babies

Okay ..you can now stop rubbing your eyes in disbelief…you read the header right. Men arent required to make babies anymore. How? Apparently womens bone marrow can create sperm. Wow! And the Bible spoke of woman being created out of a mans collar (?) bone. time to demolish theories and get on with life….creating life. Out with your bones..women. they are sexy!!

Aamir Khan Faisal Khan - Two Faces Of Fate (Updated)

A still from ‘Mela’ with Aamir and Faisal Khan .. Unfortunately life turned out to be less of a ‘mela’ ..more of a ‘melee’!

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Kaveetaa Kaul

This post has been quoted/linked in Mumbai Mirror Bloggers Park

Update 2nd Nov 07: As expected Aamirs family consisting of his wife Kiran rao and 21 other family members speak out in vehement aggression against Tahir Hussain and Faisal Khan..see update at bottom of post.

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Piqued by the rather insouciant reportage of events that have engulfed the two brothers, Aamir Khan and Faisal Khan, one felt the need to elucidate lucidly on the tittle tattle that has been persistently chasing them this past week. Although news had been alarming yet one desisted from writing on the subject out of sheer sense of fairness and also to avoid further encumbrance towards normalisation/ solution to the rather tragic turn of events.

Shraadha - Begins Today

The 15 day long rituals in worship of our ancestors Shraadha or ‘Pitrapaksh’ begins today-ending on 11th October. This is a good time to feed at least one hungry person and the birds some rice and milk. Too many Why’s, What’,what for’s are not really necessary. All the same if answers are sought a little reading on the subject will help. In any case lovingly feeding hungry souls can never be a bad idea nor can worshipful remembrance of ancestors.

It is recommended that new ventures , new purchases not be made during this period. You will notice the decrease in number of releases of Bollywood films or for that matter announcements/mahurats for new ones. Perhaps those who most strictly adhere to this rule is our Bollywood fraternity. ‘Why risk it’ perhaps their inner dialogue. For non believers this is simply meant to be time of the year when we should concentrate our energies and prayers for those departed souls who have played a role in our life. Our karma here may help them forward in their journey. Its the spirit world, proof of its prevalence surrounds us if we only care to notice. We take the prevalence of the remote and its functions for granted , yet are hugely skeptical of Indian rituals. .isnt the underlying principle similar?

For more details

A Decade After Diana

Kaveeta Kaul

This blog has been linked to by CNN.com/US

Today is the tenth death anniversary of Princess Diana and the euphoria continues as fervently with no signs of abating. A memorial sevice that had been in the news for a while since Camilla Prince Charles present wife and the ‘third person’ referred to by Diana in her marriage had been invited by Dianas sons.

Camillas inclusion had shocked and appalled many at the time. I had written of it as well in indignation, with no intention of masking the antipathy, wondering how on earth could Camilla be a part of the ceremony in memory of Diana despite being someone who had played a pivotal role in her misery.

A Short Gap..

My mother has taken ill. I cant quite get myself to writing . Hoping and praying she will be fine soon.

Her story..

Edwina-Nehru’s Love Was ‘Platonic’ Asserts Pamela Mountbatten

Kaveetaa Kaul

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Perhaps one of the rarest accounts of a vicariously described relationship is that of Pamela Mountbatten’s depiction of her mother Edwina, wife of Lord Mountbatten the last Viceroy of India and Pandit Jawaharlal Nehrus ‘love affair’ in her book India Remembered: A Personal Account of the Mountbattens During the Transfer of Power. A daughter looking back at her mothers life with candid honesty and mature ponderings does astonish one, followed by a sense of admiration at the candor of her approach.

What is ‘platonic love’?

Shweta Tiwari Victim Of Domestic Violence (Updated)

A picture taken not too long ago ..Deceptive?

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Kaveetaa Kaul

Shweta Tiwari a popular actress of television soaps seems to be in doldrums of the domestic kind. As reported by leading national T.V. channels and the media, Shweta Tiwari has been going through incidents of physical abuse at the hands of her husband Raja Chowdhry.

Touch Me Not- Schools Ban Touching

Kaveeta Kaul

India is in a state of extreme confusion…as yet undecided on the one issue that is the national obsession, namely ’sex’.While the average citizen seems to have attained adulthood considering the relaxed disposition, not going into a frenzy every time the ‘words’ mentioned, our politicians who have recently donned the mantle of moral custodians, are struggling between the Middle and Dark ages, frothing at the mouth, incensed over Valentines day, huddled couples on the sea front and so on.

Law To The Rescue ! Live In Relationships Gain Recognition.

Kaveeta Kaul

In what can be termed as a momentous decision by an Indian Court a woman has been granted compensation for the emotional abuse she suffered at the hands of her live in partner who used her on the promise of marriage and then dumped her unceremoniously , threatening her with his ‘high connections’ if she so much as uttered a word in protest.

On Mothers Day

Why are you crying, a young boy asked his Mom?

“Because I’m a woman,” she told him.

“I don’t understand,” he said.

His Mom just hugged him and said,
“And you never will, but that’s O.K.”…….

Inspite Of It All..

Kaveetaa Kaul

Oftentimes, lifes vagaries present before one a spate of experiences which as if challenge the roots of our existential paradigm. In other words we, perchance seem to encounter seemingly impossible circumstances and individuals, who yank the carpet from underneath our feet, before one can mutter bally-ho, compelling us to re fashion our mental make-up.

Shilpa Shetty Jane Goody -For Goodness Sake

Kaveeta Kaul

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Update: Channel 4 plans to apologise to Shilpa Shetty for the ‘editorial misjudgements’ before the start of its new season of Big Brother..Is it genuine or a crafty sense of diplomacy to ensure viewer ratings, is a matter of conjecture.

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When news , information, snippets, trivia, sensationalism, abuses, cynicism over an event begins emerging from the woodwork like termites, my instant reaction goes something like ‘ “I dont want to write on this one..its all over the net, channels, literally coming out of my ears”. A strange resistance to comment on the issue seems to take over, for reasons that have to do with disagreement rather than concurrence with populist sentiment. It seems like a wasteful exercise, and that ‘patient, mature, watchful,’ aspect of my nature ( did I hear a chuckle! how terribly mean ) takes over and orders a pull back till an opportune moment.

All The World Loves A Lover- Aishwarya Abhishek To Wed

Kaveeta Kaul

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On the wedding and more

Pre-wedding:

‘Akshay Tritiya’ is considered the only day in the hindu calendar which does not require a shubh mahurat.. the entire day is fortuitous… It falls on April 20th this year.. the day chosen by the families for the Abhi Ash nuptials..Hmmm.. what is the harm in propitiating the ’stars’..they ensured them stardom in the first place. Deep down, we are all humans with our fears, doubts and apprehensions. Anything to guarantee a peaceful wedded life is welcome. After all, name and fame ..fickle food on a shifty plate. If ones emotional life runs dry no amount of material accoutrements can replace the emptiness .

Guest list is ‘Exclusive’..No Khans SRK, Aamir, Salman. So far it goes so:

Anil and Tina Ambani, Subroto Roy,Kajol and Ajay, Yash Chopra & Sons,Kirron Kher and son Sikander (what of Anupam Kher??)Karan Johar and his mother Hiroo,Sonali Bendre and her hubby Goldie Behl (close friend of Abhi)..of course Amar singh is no longer a friend..dont choke.. He’s family I guess it would also include Jaya’s FTII buddies, Danny etc. The list of Bollywood invites may be exculsive.. but the total number including family et all would be close to 300 or so..hardly a figure considering it represents both families Rai and Bachchans.

Invitation card is more of a ‘volume’ ..bookish with invites beginning from 18th..the Mehdi and will carry on till 20th the wedding at..AB’s previous bungalow..occupied by his mother Mrs. Teji Bachchan presently. The media and tabloids are getting into a frenzy.. Imagine showing on National T.V. laborers carrying in truckloads of paraphernalia..Hmm..this is not so happening really..I mean till its breaking news its fine..but cannot make it a ‘live telecast’!! Its only a wedding..and all the best and all that!

Update: 30th March: Finally..dates been set for 20th April . Venue..Prateeksha, Big B’s Bungalow at Juhu.. Guest list ..family only..and those considered so.

Update @27th January 12-20 p.m: speculation is rife that Abhishek and ash are married at a temple in Vindhyanchal near Banaras U.P./… dodging the media. This is a temple which is supposed to nullify ill effects of planetary configurations…The sindoor was filled in Ashs ‘maang’ which denoted ‘marriage’..although there was no other wedding finery, or dressing up involved. In half an hour it was all over. This was confirmed by a priest present there who spoke to a T.V. channel They had flown down in a helicopter, and in the presence of Ab, Jaya, Amar Singh and his family and Mulayam Singh, they are reported to be wed. ..without fanfare!! .

It is a possibility that the auspiciousness of the Day today may have led to this hurried ‘token’ ‘cermony’ to be followed by an elaborate affair later. The Goddess of this temple assures a happy wedded life..perhaps the combinaton of the day with the venue may have led to this.

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Kaveeta Kaul

The news of the Aishwarya Rai Abhishek Bachchan betrothal has spread in a flash the world over. Not surprising considering that he is easily one of the most if not ‘the most’ eligible bachelors in the film fraternity, and she a Ms. World who has carved quite a niche for herself, in not just the hearts of cinephiles, ( disagree? think “Hum dil de chuke sanam) but also the average world citizen.

What has amused me however is the timing of the announcement from no other than the proud father Amitabh Bachchan himself.

A Princess Betrayed-Diana

“The worst illness of our time is that so many people have to suffer from not ever being loved” Princess Diana

The news of Princess Diana’s death had brought in its wake a deep sadness and nudged an inevitable questioning as to the manner in which we mortals seek the’ ever elusive’ strain of happiness. If a Princess endowed with beauty, wealth and grandeur had lived her life as if chasing a dream, an impossibility, a mirage, only to get sucked into the illusion of a ‘happily ever after’ love story, then this , if anything, is an exemplification of the fact that happiness is not a commodity, to be acquired, but a verb, to be achieved, painstakingly..A paradox in itself.

What makes Dianas story an eternal Greek tragedy however, is the report that her two sons Princes William and Harry, had invited, to the memorial service of their mother,

Bharati Yadav Nitish Katara- Love is a smoke made with the fumes of sighs…

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It would make a tear jerker for sure were it to be made for the big screen. However, Bharati Yadav is in an unenviable position today.. that of a woman who has had to bear the gruesome murder of her beloved. As if that was not enough, she is the sister of the alleged murderers, as key witness is therefore expected to testify against them.

Nitish Katara. a handsome eligible, proficient young man, made the blunder of falling in love with Bharati Yadav, the daughter of a powerful politician/don from Uttar Pradesh, D.P. Yadav. Her brothers resented the match for reasons as clichéd as every other Bollywood film..class disparity. Love however, pays no heed to such obstacles. Or maybe it is that a couple in love goes through life with blinkers and

‘Dating Allowance’ Ruined Marriage Alleges Tripti Nigam

Update: Tripti Nigam has responded in Times Of India, to allegations made by her husband Gaurav to the press that accused her of ” beating her husband”.

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A news item about a wife who has taken Azim Premji, of Wipro to court over the ‘dating allowance’ being allotted to their employees in general and her husband Gaurav in particular, was an extraordinary example of how women are now willing to fight tooth and nail to ensure dignity for themselves and sanctity of marriage vows.

Aishwarya-Uneasy Lies The Head……

One of the lessons I’d imbibed early in life was the transcience of all things materialistic. Included in that categorisation was, believe-it-or-not, fame,’fickle fame on a shifty plate’ It frightened, unnerved, rattled me. Something within, made me cringe at every opportunity that remotely led toward the direction of an in-the-face existence. That it would always be accompanied with ‘baggage’ of the undesirable, had made a dent deep enough in my psyche. ‘Peace of mind’ I had convinced myself, was an antonym to ‘popularity’..oxymorons.I chose the former with complete conviction.

Mother Incarnate

Kaveeta Kaul

Each language has its own unique mode of expression. Often translating , say an urdu ’shair’ into English, results in its innate sweetness and essence diminishing by several notches. Hindi, as a language boasts of words which defy restatement of the version in its original intention.

A case in point is the word ‘MAMTA’. All efforts to capture the spectrum of emotions this word conjures up, prove futile. The closest perhaps is ‘motherhood, motherliness..which is there, but not quite.

The reason for this quest was triggered by the news of a baby, found abandoned in a train. Whats new? Eight couples, among them a Muslim and a Christian, queued up at the hospital with offers to adopt this baby.