The Rinku Sachdeva I knew (Updated - Mumbai Mirror Responds)

Rinku Sachdeva

Kaveetaa Kaul

Update 6th April 2008: Rinkus father Mr. Harish Sachdeva puts forward his feelings and viewpoints. A must read.

Update 3rd April 2008 : If getting to the unadulterated truth is your concern then please read comment 78 where Ankush, Rinkus family member has spoken out in as veracious and candid a manner as possible.

Update 30th March 2008: Post the publishing of this write up on ‘Sachiniti’, Bapu Deedwania a senior correspondent of Mumbai Mirror got in touch with me ( see comments 13-16) . I was only too keen to set the ball rolling for her to meet the Sachdevas .. their trauma needed to be put forth as well. Todays Mumbai Mirror presents their version of the situation, exactly as Bapu had promised me, without any effort to sensationalise..purely verbatim.Responsible journalism can be such a boon. Thank you Bapu. See bottom of post for details.

Update 28th March 2008 : As predicted here,investigating police officials have found no evidence of any ‘alleged affair’ Rinku Sachdev was ‘reportedly’ accused of . For those of us who knew her, it is not important, since we weren’t assailed with doubts in any case. However, defiling of her good name, issues about circumventing facts, would ultimately tell on her near and dear ones, family and friends which would be grossly unfair. Hence this attempt to showcase the truth.See bottom of post for details.

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How does one grieve over the shocking death of Rinku Sachdeva a 28 year old who you knew as a teenager, whose parents were a couple you looked forward to meeting if only to hear their laughter and imbibe their joie de vivre? How does one replace that happy family with an image of what the TV channels air? Just how does one console the parents? Are there words which can express that ‘I understand your pain I am with you’? And more importantly would such sentiments matter any more? Would they ever be able to recover not just from the loss but more from the sordid insinuations made in the media some blatant some implied but equally defaming?

Of Serial Killers Of Noida Moninder Surinder And Police- India’s Shame! (Updated)

Kaveeta Kaul

A dictator, alleged perpetrator of untold crimes against his people , has been executed. Saddam Hussein walked to the gallows, almost calm, refused to be masked, appearing heroically brave, and was hanged until death..

As if the visual of the exercise leading him to the gallows was not enough, despite being looped continuously almost in barbarity and apathetic primitiveness, what ran concurrently on television channels was this gruesome news..The Nithari Killings..The first of its kind in India if not the world.

Justice Delayed But Not Denied- Jessica Lall Murder Case Verdict

Kaveeta Kaul

I feel personally vindicated and a certain sense of euphoria at the news of Manu Sharmas indictment..nine months and twenty seven days after the case was reopened.

A red letter day for civic activism.

Although I may amount to .0000000001 % of those who had done all within the ambit of their reach to ensure that the culprit is charged, whether it had to do with

Bharati Yadav Nitish Katara- Love is a smoke made with the fumes of sighs…

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It would make a tear jerker for sure were it to be made for the big screen. However, Bharati Yadav is in an unenviable position today.. that of a woman who has had to bear the gruesome murder of her beloved. As if that was not enough, she is the sister of the alleged murderers, as key witness is therefore expected to testify against them.

Nitish Katara. a handsome eligible, proficient young man, made the blunder of falling in love with Bharati Yadav, the daughter of a powerful politician/don from Uttar Pradesh, D.P. Yadav. Her brothers resented the match for reasons as clichéd as every other Bollywood film..class disparity. Love however, pays no heed to such obstacles. Or maybe it is that a couple in love goes through life with blinkers and

At Last Divine Justice-Priyadarshini Mattoo

Kaveeta kaul

Its not often that one decides to prefix ‘divine’ with ‘justice’ given several cases where flouting of laws and subverting of justice has been almost rampantly prevalent. With the sentencing of Santosh Singh to the gallows, the rapist cum killer of 23 year old Priyadarshini Mattoo, 11 years back, ‘divine’ connotes more than just ‘heavenly’ intervention. It is a salute to the judiciary..finally.

In a grotesque incident Priyadarshini , a law student, was stalked by a fellow student Santosh for two years

In Heaven-In Hell: Anousheh-Mumtaz Ghazala Deepti

Kaveeta Kaul

Oftentimes one encounters those with an alternative viewpoint, a necessary adjunct to creative ‘out of the box’ take on lifestyles. There is a certain gentleman who strongly conforms to the tenet of ‘newspaperless-ness’ as the secret behind his disease-less state of health. In other words, his morning routine, or rather daily routine, does not include the almost reverential wait for the morning paper indulged in by the vast majority of mortals (me included). He pooh poohs the exercise with a wave of his hand, accompanied by an “invitation to depression’ remark, on his way to the ‘laughter club’.

Oftentimes, I find myself inwardly agreeing, while not summoning up the will to bypass the dining table, with the stock of freshly delivered, unopened newspapers, waiting to be

Army Officer Susmita Chakraborty Commits Suicide

News of a suicide triggers off a feeling of intrigue as to the circumstances, first and foremost, followed by sadness at the finality of the act which negated hope. It is the strongest of all statements made by a human being expressing disgust, hopelessness and defeat. Silently.
When the suicide happens to be of a woman army oficer,(not the first in recet times) Susmita Chakraborty all the above emotions get amplified. The fact that she had opted fo

Sati, Suicide, Murder, Rose-Whats In A Name

India, the land of mystics and mysticism, snakes and snake charmers, elephants and mahouts, Maharishis and Maharajas.

While all of the above fail to make news any more and are nearly as extinct as the soon to be ‘black buck’ of Salman Khan fame..what lives on is Sati- a ritual where the widow burns herself on the funeral pyre of her husband.

Suicide..Navin Nischol’s Wife

Promod Mahajans brother Pravin shot him at point blank range, in what seemed as a pre-meditated act, stemming from frustration at being the ‘ignored poorer’ one. The media, internet have been all agog with the News. Rightfully so. Sibling rivalry in its latest serpiginous reflection.

What caught my attention however, was the underhyped but equally ,if not more tragic news of the suicide of actor Navin Nischols (Sawan bhadon, Buddha mil gaya fame) wife Geetanjali. She was at home at her Mahim residence when she decided to put an end to her sufferings, or so she imagined, by hanging herself from the ceiling fan.Her servants reported the incident.So… another unsung, unceremonious, futile end! Another love story bites the dust. There is nothing more heartbreaking than to be witness to a heart break.

A while back, in an interview to the media she had gone on record to narrate how Navins brother Pravin( again!what is with this name!) Nischol had allegedly duped them of their plush apartment at Khar, which had been bought with Navins money in the ’80’s, but had been on Pravins name to avoid tax hassles, or so she claimed. Financial constraints had led them to become homeless and therefore were now living in appalling conditions at Mahim.

The ‘alleged’ suicide note, found by the police states however that she was taking her life due to the alcoholism of Navin and the property dispute. Reports claim that Navin had been living separately for almost a year, in Pune.

Irrespective of the details and circumstances, which would be unfair to comment upon without adequate proof, what seems clear is that the couple had been unable to cope with

1)adversities in finances
2)adversities in career
3)adversities in relationships

This was a second marriage for both.Barely six years old.

Walking the tightrope of life, , a piece on the suicide of Kuljeet Randhawa, in totally different circumstances, will shed further light on the sreiousness of this scenario and the underlying causes and implications. She was an acclaimed actress and model, young and beautiful. Her reasons surprisingly too boiled down to failed relationships.

“Anguish of mind has driven thousands to suicide; anguish of body, none. This proves that the health of the mind is of far more consequence to our happiness than the health of the body, although both are deserving of much more attention than either of them receive.”

While I am feeding in details of the news which at most skims the surface of what is working in my mind right now, I find it increasingly tragic that in this world of apparent modernisation and progress, humans find themselves alone, forlorn and at sea, desperate and friendless. Also, it is sadly true that positivity is a sentiment which is starkly unavailable as an ingredient of the lives of most,especially at times like these.

“Adversity is the salt of life”..so said Swami Vivekananda. Remembered by some, but adhered to by fewer!

Do we tend to give our all to emotional well-being over and above any other? Yet fail to instill in each other the joyous wonder of being together as the only premise worth any deduction.

If , love be the centre of our existence, why cannot we love unconditionally? Not in expectation of any return and to avoid in the face of disappointment, hurt? Alternatively, desist from placing our life in the palm of another humans inconsistent loyalties or capabilities of reciprocation. The other maybe as confused or himself/herself in need of strength and solace.To expect super human efforts from another while not displaying any ourselves, is fallacious and can only lead to disaster. As has been apparent in this case.

Most men are at their lowest, if careers fail to translate into compensatory and commensurate returns financially. It is at such periods in life that most marriages break under the pressure of coping with the demands of life on one hand and an unresponsive or asympathetic spouse on the other. What should have been a ‘give only’relationship, in terms of love and understanding, disintegrates into a ‘take only’. Soon the ‘blame game’ takes over and the two become unrecognisable even to themselves.

“True Love burns the brightest, But the brightest flames leave the deepest scars.”
The path of love and togetherness is fraught with uncertainties, trials and tribulations.

A hint of philosophy, which points towards the direction of patience and wisdom, a tinge of spirituality which opens up need for faith and trust in the Unknown Plan, and a dollop of love for that one person who has pledged herself/himself to you, would go a far way in minimising incidents such as these, which speak of a Broken heart, more than anything else and the final revenge at having not been heard.

Is suicide then the end to suffering? Negative. If only she had known that perhaps it would serve only to perpetuate the seed of unhappiness which could have been allowed to wither away on its own, over time, with patience, in barren soil inconducive to erroneous thinking, emerging out of an awakened mind. If only..

Meher Bhargava..Mata Durga

The title may seem a bit over the top.But I do not recall a single other instance when a mother-in-law has admonished dangerous criminals for teasing her daughter-in -law, demanded an apology and then paid for it with her life.

On this courageous and astonishingly brave Meher Bhargava I had writtenas early as March 7th hoping and praying that she will recover.

But she is no more.

Are Women To Blame For Rape?

Kaveetaa Kaul

Happened to read a most disturbing piece reported in BBC.

Women ‘get blame for being raped’
Distressed woman
Fewer than 6% of reported rapes result in a conviction
A third of people believe a woman is partially or completely responsible for being raped if she has behaved flirtatiously, a survey suggests.)
The Amnesty International poll of 1,000 people also found over 25% believe she is at least partly to blame if she has worn revealing clothing or been drunk.

Amnesty says the “shocking” findings show government policies are failing.
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And the director of public prosecutions told the BBC the report “highlights some areas of real concern”.

Ken Macdonald QC, who is in charge of prosecutions in England and Wales, spoke to BBC Radio 4’s Woman’s Hour.

“The idea that a third of our people think that if a woman flirts she has only herself to blame if she is raped is, I think, quite shocking,” he said.

“These are jury trials. The jury is the community in the courtroom and it is reasonable to suppose the jury brings into the courtroom a lot of the attitudes we have been reading about.”

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Nothing can be traced back to male unreasonability when it comes to battle between the sexes.

When will these Atrocities against women end?

farishtey se behtar hai insaan ban na

magar isme lagti hai mehnat zyaada

(tr: It is better to be a human being than it is to be a saint/nevertheless it takes more doing.)

In the wake of Jessica Lal’s Murdercase, Kuldeep’s suicide and the actress shot in the head last night, it leaves one puzzled. Can one ever hope that the worst is over?

Denial has been our forte for generations. But it seems as if debauchery has taken on a human face. As if that was not enough, please read on for the latest to realise that perhaps

Chilling Reality

by Anouradha Bakshi

Another exam suicide.. screamed the morning paper..

This is the fourth child who took his life fearing failure.. 4 kids from different backgrounds that we could not unite in life, found themselves united in the death they chose..

Taking your life is not an easy thing.. it requires courage.. and four children whose life had barely begun took that ultimate step.. because they thought they had not come to the expectations of some adult… their parents.. their school teacher.. the system..

To me these kids were far above others.. but a system made for the larger number does not recognise the worth of the unconventional child.. and in a country where marks are of the essence, there is no place for the one who excels in ‘other’ areas..

Something is terribly wrong… something we need to address now.. schools are necessary and so are degrees and certificates.. but what is wrong is when a child feels that there is no other way if he cannot survive it.. and here it is not a failure of the child but that of the adult be it the parent or the school teacher..

When I read about these tragic deaths I realised how close I was to having one in my own world.. I would like to share my story in the hope that it may help some desperate child..

my younger daughter S had very difficult school years, and though she had no learning disability, she just could not cope.. like all insensitive adults who want their kids to be super whatevers, I pushed her for many years, and she brave little heart did everything she could.. and did get to class IX.. then in spite of giving her best she again failed and that day when Isaw her crumpled little face I just said what she had been hoping to hear:. The words: “You need not go back to school..” came out in spite of myself.. and before I could think ahead a smile of pure gratitude lit up S’s face..

I never regretted that day.. S had always wanted to work with special kids and she trained for 5 years and gave it her best, and suddenly could do all she had never been able to.. today she runs project why with me and has earned the admiration of many.. and of all my achievements , I know this one that no one knows of, is probably the best… as for the first time I decided that i would stand alone and do what I thought best for my child.. Oh I had my share of what have you done, who will marry her etc . Some of my family members did not talk to me.. but I held on!

Parents and adults have to listen to children and recognised the cries for help that are sent out.. and then find another way and celebrate the difference of the child who cannot fit the mould!

Children should not have to take their own lives.. in a so called civilised world

Murder of Justice- Jessica Lall Case

Jessica Lal, a model, was murdered brutally, shot in the eye on 29th April 1999. questJudgement has been delivered . All the nine accused, including Manu Sharma, son of Haryana minister Vinod Sharma, and Vikas Yadav, son of Don-turned politician, D.P. Yadav were let off

It is devastating to acknowledge the fact that we live in a country where the killing of a deer is a punishable offence, while the murderer of an innocent girl goes scot free!! It is a

Walking the Tightrope of Life-Part ll

In continuum of my earlier post on ‘The suicide of Kuljeet Randhawa’
The press is now waking up to the seriousness of the suicide and looking for deeper underlying causes and its implications. They were late at it, considering that they unceremoniously , unethically/calluously chose initially to quote celebrities who were dimissive of her death in rather uncomplimentary terms. Media today bows down to pressures of readership, viewership often at the cost of their own credibility.

Walking The Tightrope Of Life

Judging whether life is or is not worth living amounts to answering the fundamental question of philosophy. All the rest–whether or not the world has three dimensions, whether the mind has nine or twelve categories–comes afterward. These are games; one must first answer.” -Albert Camus

When one awakes in the morning, opens the papers, and is startled by the news of the suicide of a co-actor, then after the initial despair, outrage,helplessness, what comes to mind is the saying which I have quoted above.

Read news clipping;