I met a girl , couple of days back, at a social do. The usual kind of party where you meet some interesting, some not so, some nice, some not so, some who you take back with you in memories and others who you want to forget the moment they are out of your sight.
She was the former variety, interesting , nice and the fact I am writing about her amounts to the fact that she was memorable. Pretty, in a bizarre sort of way and totally in-the-face.With her attitude, speech and stance.
A while ago, I would have made my excuses and strolled off. I had found it difficult to come to terms with this ‘new breed’, to whom irreverence is a choice and a badge they wear as an identity status.
Surprisingly, ever since I joined the ranks of ‘blogging community’, I notice that my reserve and trepidation at ‘dialoguing’ with the kind is slowly melting. Even almost disappearing. I find myself warming to their view point and eager to know their take on almost every issue under the sun..which includes of course, the quintessential topic of discussion among humanity as a whole- Marriage.
The above title of the post was thanks to my new friend. It more or less is self explanatory on what she thinks of this great’institution’ of marriage. Or rather does not think of it, as one. To every argument I put forward with all the eloquence at my disposal, or ‘weight of experience’, all I got from her was “why?” or a “so what?”, “why bother” and finally “its just not worth it”..period.
I was taken aback, initially, at the generous dollops of slang that interspersed her vociferous fragmented utterances. You’d be too. Try envisaging the above four worders punctuated with six f’s and 3 a’s. But once the reasoning behind the heavily cloaked words reached my overwhelmingly and by-now groggy mind, I actually found myself telling her “I think you are right.. I would have done the same too.” Hubby ofcourse at this point, had given up on the two of us and decided to replenish his stem glass.
To put it as succinctly as I can, she believed that most men/women today do not believe in marriage as being the only worthwhile destination in their life. If the reason for marriage is stability, then she didnt need a man to give it to her. Emotional needs,well, which husband remains your best friend, once the initial euphoria has died down. Physical needs?? “You must be joking..Hitch up for life for a roll in the hay? Never!!”. What about envy at those happily married snap shot families, kids in tow, munching on crunchies, at a theatre. Wont she miss it?.. Yeah right..go home to a hubby who promptly goes off to sleep and you are left handling the kids their tantrums and an acrylic sense of having had a good time!
Compare that with the brazenness of telling the guy who decides to exhibit his male ego by reminding her how she ought to be doing this that or the other, with a s***w off. Coming back to a place where she can be the person she wants to, never made to feel guilty for choosing to have a life, and not just babies!!
“Independence” in its most recent and progressive(?) connotation. So what happens now to Kids? Will they happen? And if they do, will they have a home with Papa and Mama?
Is it just years of conditioning that accentuates a family as we know it, or is it the only way it was meant to be? Are single parent families the future?
What of “and they lived happily ever after “endings? Or, were they fairy tales after all..there are no endings of the kind.